Cold November Brain

There are a few reasons why I think of Bobby “The Brain” Heenan in November. Most importantly it was indeed his birth month. The legend would turn 78 this year. But also because my favorite piece of Bobby Heenan memorabilia, shown very often on this blog, involves the month of November, as well. No, it has nothing to do with The Survivor Series. But we’ll get to that in a bit. Why not look at some other Heenan memorabilia first? 

I think that I enjoy The Brain for reasons other than most. Of course everyone loved his humor which he brought to any job that he had within the business. Being the Gorilla Monsoon guy that I am, how could I not? I’ve said before and I’ll say again that I prefer the Monsoon-Jesse Ventura team as far as commentary goes, but there were no better hosting duos than The Gorilla and The Brain. Prime Time Wrestling would not be as beloved today had it not been for those two. You can sense the bits that the two came up with on their own that no outside writer could have. My favorites usually involved the two preparing for an upcoming event such as WrestleMania or the premiere of No Holds Barred. The two were gold in the studio but I feel that they truly shined when “out and about.” 

My love of Heenan comes from, as is almost cliché, the “little things.” It’s those things that can turn a good wrestler into a great one. If you’ve read Heenan’s books you already know that his philosophy was to “wrestle like a manager and manage like a wrestler.” It shows. You can literally pick any appearance of Heenan either inside or outside of the squared circle and see this shine through. Watch him come to the ring. There’s always something going on and it isn’t generic. It’s something pertaining to whichever story is being told, and not even necessarily his. He knew that in order for him to look good he had to make everyone around him look good, too. He fidgets. He looks concerned. He’s focused. He’s gleeful. It’s always something. 

What was also rather unique to Heenan, especially in the “WWF golden era” of the ‘80s, is that he could switch between serious or cartoonish in the bat of an eyelash. If he and his charge were hatching a plan to attack another wrestler you were definitely going to see “cruel and calculating” Heenan. If Gene Okerlund chased them down for an interview after the heinous action, Heenan was prepared with a good insult. He also kept it real. When The Brooklyn Brawler took out both The Red Rooster and Gorilla Monsoon on an episode of Prime Time Wrestling, Heenan repeatedly apologized to Monsoon and claimed that the attack on him was not part of his plan. It made sense. Going forward why would Monsoon continue to find amusement in Heenan’s antics had Heenan not shown a little remorse for something so physical? Again, it was the little things. 

Speaking of little things, Bobby Heenan has had a few in the form of action figures over the years. Not only was he one of the manager figures in the LJN Wrestling Superstars line (a figure that he proudly displayed on Prime Time Wrestling), but he was also one of only two managers to make it into the bendies line also from the company. I only got into the bendies after the Hasbro WWF line was released and was absolutely thrilled that both Heenan and Captain Lou Albano could be integrated with the Hasbro figures. Jakks and Mattel really upped the ante with several Heenan figures from each manufacturer. The latest was the Mattel WWE Legends Bobby Heenan in the infamous weasel suit. Beneath it is the first accurate and widely available “wrestling gear” Heenan figure. Sadly, the figure is underrated and undersold. I don’t know if that means that we’re dead as far as future figures of “The Brain” go, but someone desperately needs to produce him in a Hasbro style before the “Retro” craze ends. We could also use several more regular sized Heenan’s as well. You and I both can think of five or six designs right off of the top of our heads. 

Heenan was no stranger to trading cards, magazine and program covers and even coloring books, either, despite being a manager who were sometimes left out of such things. I say “were” as sadly the wrestling manager seems to be gone. Every so often there are glimmers, especially with Paul Heyman still running rampant, but it has yet to truly feel the same. But The Brain made it beyond. Need someone to go on Arsenio, Regis & Kathy Lee or even The Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon? Heenan was your man. He even made it onto an episode or two of Hulk Hogan’s Rock n’ Wrestling, though the little merchandise sadly doesn’t reflect that. 

My favorite Heenan item as promised? The November 1970 issue of The Wrestler, of course. I had wanted the issue for years, seeing it listed as a back issue, but even then it was coveted. Finally, in a box chock full of ‘60s and ‘70s wrestling magazines that I picked up at a local convention, there it was. I was able to get The Brain to sign it and, though he was in his later stages where communication wasn’t as easy as in previous years, he positively glowed upon seeing it. A gory and slightly horrifying reminder that Heenan was indeed a wrestler and for more than just comedic weasel suit matches. Bobby was the real deal. 

Now beat it, humanoids!