A Hunka Hunka Boxcar!

Yet another figure review? Sure, why not? You never know when a gem is going to pop into the picture, much less a Figure of the Year candidate. Do we have one here? Like with “the best” of anything it’s purely subjective. Only each individual person knows exactly what is “the best” or “the greatest” to them. In my world it’d be an absolute miracle if a figure of someone like The Undertaker or Stone Cold Steve Austin would be considered for FOTY. They’ve simply been done one hundred times too many and there just isn’t enough variation in their looks. But a wrestler who’s had a limited amount of figures, especially in a certain look? Couple that with fairly flawless execution from design to accessories and we’ve got what I consider to be the complete package.

Mattel WWE Legends Series 20 features Mr. Perfect, Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase and Triple H, but I’m fairly certain that most eyes flew to a figure who’s had both a storied and unfulfilled history: Rhythm and Blues Greg Valentine. It’s the last series to feature the packaging introduced when Mattel brought back their Legends-titled line with Series 7. Interestingly, that series featured the Mattel return of “The Hammer” with a traditional look in both black and yellow trunks. Here we’re getting Valentine as he appeared for most of 1990 while teaming with The Honky Tonk Man. The bio on the back of the box would lead you to believe that this occurred in 1988. If Mattel would like to replace their current bio writer/historian with someone who knows the facts without even needing to research I’d be happy to take over the position. Ozer? Call me.

“The Hammer” comes complete with guitar, glasses, jacket, belt and a hunka hunka Honky love. I’ve complained about this breakaway guitar and I do wish that they’d replace it with a solid version. I’m ok with it this time around for two reasons. Rhythm and Blues had two high profile appearances that are well remembered, those being at WrestleMania VI and Survivor Series 1990. At the former their guitars were indeed smashed to smithereens by The Bushwhackers. The other reason that I’m alright with it is that it seems to stay together just a bit better. Like many of you I’ve taken to keeping the clear plastic band used to keep the guitar intact in the packaging. I removed it then replaced it for the photography that you see here and had not one instance of premature guitar collapse. This is a good sign since, as of press time, there’s no known remedy for PGC. Consult your physician.

Mattel really went all out on this one. If the often discussed budget breakdowns of individual figure series is true, most of it for Series 20 went here. The belt and jacket are amazing. They capture “Boxcar” just as we remember him from those magical months in 1990. The glasses appear to be a new design, too, although it could just be the color. They’re removable yet stay on when you need them to which is always the sign of a good figure accessory.

The real “main event” feature of the figure is that Mattel fixed the leg issue from the previous Valentine release. The legs are a bit shorter and thicker really capturing the look of “The Hammer” as we all remember. That being said, I now want re-releases of the previous looks. I still want some other designs, too. Let’s compromise. We’ll take redos of the yellow and black ones in the upcoming Legends Greatest Hits line and then we’ll take new versions of Greg, with slightly different hair and new robes, in the regular legends line. Since “Dream Team” Brutus Beefcake is seeing a re-release, why not a matching Gregster? If we had as many versions of Valentine as we do Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart I’d be a happy collector.

Who am I kidding? I’m happy anyway! After three decades of complaints about Hasbro not releasing “The Hammer” in this look we now have several to choose from. While the Retro Hasbro-styled version is essential, this one is the ultimate. He’s available now through everyone’s favorite red bullseye retailer and I’d advise to get one if you want one. We all know the penchant that this retailer has for suddenly discounting the price on these figures for a spell, but if this is one that you want I wouldn’t wait around. It’s fairly visually impressive. There will also be those who pass now yet want it when The Honky Tonk Man is re-released in the aforementioned WWE Legends Greatest Hits series for which he is scheduled. Plan your purchasing accordingly.

Enjoy the figure, ponder it as FOTY, but remember, “if you hung The Hammer for being a good singer you’d hang an innocent person!”