Monday, March 1, 2021

The Evil Million Dollar Corporation Strikes Again! No, I don't mean Mattel...

The never ending battle between collectors and Mattel strikes again. I've heard countless fellow collectors declare that it's starting to simply not be worth it anymore. Frustrations over distribution and store exclusives are at an all-time high. Whether it be friends that I run into in person or those across the miles, we're all fed up. Collecting should be fun, not something to cost time and happiness. It's really getting tiresome. Nonetheless, this particular pre-order went smoothly (though from the looks of things it did not for others) thus here we are with three of the four latest Mattel WWE Legends.

In this go-round we've got "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, Tatanka and Nikolai Volkoff. The set is rounded out with a late-1995 version of The Undertaker, however I passed on the figure as I do with many characters who are produced time and time again. Interestingly, you could almost call this "The Million Dollar Corporation" wave as even The Undertaker had loose ties to the group. None of them exactly look as they did in the Corporation era, but it's a fun coincidence that I'm sure was completely lost on the manufacturer.

First up is The Million Dollar Man himself. Unfortunately the figure itself is a billon dollar disappointment. First off, it seems rather short. I come in at 6 foot. I've met DiBiase many times and he's taller me. We're not seeing accurate height here. The design on the suit seems out of whack and looks badly printed on. Accessories included are an extra "laughing" head, a briefcase, the Million Dollar Championship, and extra hands. The hands seem rather pointless as both sets included are gripping. How about pointing hands? DiBiase often pointed in promos while making a statement. The briefcase isn't out of place but it isn't exactly associated with him, either. Both heads are recycled from previous releases. The "smug" head looks fine, but the laughing head makes him look like a turtle with how it fits on this neck. Last but not least is that awful Mattel version of the Million Dollar Belt. It's looked cheap, weak and not even worth a million pennies since it saw its first release a decade ago. We couldn't have gotten an update? Why did they drape it over his shoulder in the packaging? Because it only fits around the waist if you nearly tear it. If you want a good suited version of DiBiase from Mattel seek out either the figure from the Howard Finkel Build-A-Figure set or the Entrance Greats release.

Next up we have the evil Soviet Nikolai Volkoff. Hold up! This is a first time release for Nikolai as he is NOT evil at all here! Indeed we have the first figure ever released of Volkoff to represent his 1990 turn to the favor of the American people. An American flag is included on his tights, jacket and hat. In all honesty this is one of my favorite Volkoff figures ever done. The face is perfect and is a huge improvement over his previous Mattel release, though I know which photo they designed the latter from as well. This facial expression is just more iconic. Also better this time around is his leg movement which was very stiff in his two-pack release. My only complaint here is that the color used on his boots and tights is a tad too dark. I'll let it slide.

In a personal aside it does make me a bit sad that Nikolai didn't live to see and autograph this one. If you didn't have the chance to meet the burly brawler, I can only say that you missed out on a really down to earth guy. He was one of a few old wrestlers who upon meeting was like visiting with an old uncle. Always a few stories, a joke or two and a nice experience overall. Nikolai is also one who, sadly, I honestly feel would not make it in the business today at no fault of his own. He's not the type of wrestler that the flippy-dippy fans could ever appreciate. He stood out as a character and a true menace without having to have a single fancy move, yet every fan from the '70s thru the early '90s remembers him. 

Finally we have "Native American" Tatanka in his debut attire. If you look closely at the famous "Undertake 'Em All" ad from 1993 you'll notice that the Hasbro figure was initially slated to have this design as the symbol from the side of the tights made it onto the prototype even as the trunks were painted as the final product ended up. All these years later and here we are. Just like with Nikolai, I'm a huge fan of Tatanka. Criminally underrated, a great character and immensely fun to watch in the ring. If he had come along a few years earlier when the business itself was in better shape I can't even imagine the heights that he would've reached. Just as with his first Mattel release included are his tribal necklace and tomahawk. One big improvement over that first figure are the inclusion of open hands allowing either chops or some great poses of Tatanka looking to the sky. I'm very much looking forward to getting this one autographed.

Lumping DiBiase in with The Undertaker who didn't impress me enough to even pre-order, in my opinion it's a 50/50 wave. Volkoff and Tatanka in never-before-released attire are amazing. I would actually call this the definitive version of Volkoff, even if his heyday was as a villain. The face is just scary real and, although he only began wearing it in 1990, he wore the gear for the rest of his life until his unexpected death in 2018. I would still like to see '70s Volkoff and '06 Tatanka, but I'm not holding my breath. Jakks did a great job with the latter, but to me that run was so much fun (albeit short) that I would like to see a Mattel take on it...though it would probably end up as a store exclusive that no one ever sees anyway.

It's hard to say at this point just how difficult these will be to find. Like the first two Target-exclusive Legends waves, the retailer has seemingly gone to great lengths to screw up the pre-order process. That, coupled with Mattel's legendary piss-poor distribution, makes it a wonder that anyone is supporting them at this point. That being said most of the last wave of Legends are available to order on Target's website as of press-time. Jake Roberts is now missing but was available just days ago, likely selling out due to collectors making one last grasp at the (terrible) chase version. Speaking of stupid chase versions, DiBiase in silver is the one this time around. It goes with Mattel's Virgil, but with how horrible the figure is you may want to skip it altogether.

Your winners? Tatanka and Nikolai Volkoff!

No comments: